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How wrong Thinking has the Power to Destroy your Life

Have you ever repeatedly blamed yourself for failing to do something? Or maybe not yourself, but the universe or God or your friends or your parents? Did you keep on wondering when things will finally change for you? When will the right partner show and when will a door to the perfect career open up as it did for all your fellow students? Why do people not really understand your true motives and give you a chance in this or that area? Is there a gap between what you want and what you get?

In my last article, I wrote on how we can get our thoughts under control. If you haven’t read it yet go there now and have a quick reread by clicking here.

I mentioned there that our thoughts determine our future. And I profoundly believe what I wrote. You are not converted yet?

There is this well known saying that “our thoughts become our words, our words become our actions, our actions become our habits, our habits become our values, our values become our destiny.”

Just think about it: If you smell fresh fries, while you are on the road with your friend, you are very prone to suggest to buy some. If these fries keep what they promise, you will most likely buy fries again next time you smell them. Maybe eating them will become a habit. Which means that you don't mind eating unhealthy fat acids (those come with the fries, sorry). At least you won’t be known for being a health freak. And in this case, not paying too much attention to your diet, becomes part of your value system. You will most likely end up overweight at some point in your life. Obviously eating fries every now and then alone won’t lead to overweight. But if you add some burgers to your menu, some chocolate on occasions, and pizza once in a while, your risk of becoming overweight increases exponentially. If you are not convicted to workout 3 or 4 times a week, your risk increases even further.

But if you do care about your looks, which most people do, then you will try quick easy-fix solutions at least once or twice in your life – probably more often. If they do not lead to the desired results, which they won’t (we all know that diets don’t work), you will most likely be discouraged. Maybe you have learned that eating is a nice coping mechanism when you feel down. Or shopping. Or watching TV. Or…you name it. So you will keep eating unhealthy, overspend, and so on.

I would like to remind us that we are human beings. That metabolism is part of our survival strategy. That we need to eat, drink and breathe in some oxygen to survive, not only to strive. If you survive or strive is actually determined by your meal choices in this example. We will all survive on fish n chips with coke. But it is very unrealistic to hope that fat and sugar in overdoses will keep you slim and fit.

I am using the simplest example one can use to make a point. I am speaking about food. A vital basic that we need to survive. And the most natural food choices will keep us healthy. Yet the food industry made us believe that we are living a more luxurious life if we eat fried things. Just to offer us low-fat yoghurt as a supplement to make us feel better. We believe all the things we have seen and experienced (because hello, fries are really nice every now and then!). So, you say: So what? I’ve lived my life this way. I was raised that way. That is me.

Really? Why are you are unhappy then? Why do you follow Instagram accounts of influencers, who just look the way you will surely never look like? Why do you gossip about people, who say one thing and do the other and then complain about the outcome?

Because you are not happy. Your destiny doesn’t look promising. And the reason for that is that your habits are not useful to your future-self. And the only way to change that is by changing your thoughts about certain things.

I want to encourage you to sit down and think about the things you are really unhappy about. May it be your fitness, relationships or your vocation. And determine what your habits in those areas are. Write down what you believe and try to figure out what people think who are successful in those areas.

If you want to be fit and healthy, you should make it your core value. Which means it becomes a lifestyle, lived out more than 90% of your time. You will start thinking about it, conversing it and living it. And you will be more content and less likely to give up on your dreams. Start today and make some thought-choices that will change your life forever. This is not about following a certain lifestyle that is promising and in vogue. This is about allowing yourself to become the person you want to be, the one you were designed to be.

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